Top Ten Reasons Why L4D Should Be L4BargainBin

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Games

1. Other players. L4D is no fun unless you are playing with friends. When I first purchased this game I immediately hit the online lobbies to play through the campaigns. Within five minutes of starting the game I already had one person who went idle leaving the rest of us to fend for ourselves. And that’s relatively minor. Playing L4D in public games will expose you to the seedy underside of gaming – The imbeciles with 80 IQ or the Sociopaths who take glee in disrupting your play. Don’t even bother.

2. Terrible hit detection. L4D has the worst hit detection I’ve ever seen in a game. That’s pretty bad considering I’ve played Unreal Tournament 3. But at least Unreal Tournament 3 has the excuse that it’s a much faster paced game where huge numbers of projectiles can be in flight at any one point in time, many of which have sophisticated in-flight mechanics. L4D has only simplistic instant-hit bullet weapons and melee attacks. There’s really no excuse these things to not be honed to a mirror-shine. If you’ve never been killed by a special infected clawing you to death through 15 feet of concrete wall, count yourself lucky.

3. Unbelievable lack of content. Four campaigns that might last you an hour, and only two of them available for versus mode play. After having played No Mercy and Blood Harvest about fifteen times each I am just simply bored of them. I could care less about any supposed balancing issues that are holding up Death Toll and Dead Air, I just want some new venues to play on. It’s now almost six months after this game was released and Valve still hasn’t flipped the boolean variable to allow the other two campaigns to be played in Versus.

4. Shockingly bad netcode. Look, Left 4 Dead only supports eight people. Many other games are pushing 32 or 64 players around at the same time. There’s no excuse for the constant hit detection, lag, and teleportation issues with this game. There is a very slim margin for error in L4D, and constantly having to fight against the game’s netcode just makes the entire experience frustrating.

5. Lobotomized user interface. Trying to find a server with good ping? Too bad, you can’t. The game does not even show you a server browser. Every time you start up a game you’ll be constantly amazed at its tendency to host your games on servers halfway across the world. You can’t even check your ping numerically, since apparently numbers are too complex for the people they are marketing this game to – You have to try and take a stab at what one, two, or three bars means for your connection. From what I can tell, three green bars is something like 0ms – 500ms, two orange bars is 500ms-1000ms, and one red bar is 1000ms+.

6. The waiting game. When playing as a special infected, you most likely spend the majority of the time you’re playing … not playing. That is to say, you’re waiting the 30 seconds it takes for you to respawn. Coupled with the fact that you die essentially instantly if you are shot, means you are waiting around an awful lot. And there’s no benefit to trying to stay alive either – Spawn, attack, and die in one second, or play strategically and try to stay alive – Your performance, or lack thereof, doesn’t impact how long it takes for you to actually be able to play again.

7. Atrocious balance. On your first play through this game, you might be inclined to pick up the tier 2 weapon the Hunting Rifle. Thereafter you will quickly realize that shooting a single bullet to take out one or two zombies is somewhat less effective than using an auto-shotgun that can wipe out a mob of 30 zombies in one shot. The game is just rife with obviously poor balancing decisions that make you wonder if they even had anyone playtesting the game at all.

8. One-dimensional characters. Survivors have two valid choices. Boomers are only there to die, and Smokers are so neutered that they’re almost totally worthless except in very specific circumstances. The only character that even has a learning curve is the Hunter, and half the maps are so cramped you can’t even do anything useful when playing as one.

9. Linear maps. At first, the maps seem rather large and complicated. But after a few playthroughs it becomes obvious that they’re actually extremely linear. This is even more apparent when playing as an Infected, since a good number of ideal ambush points are explicitly blocked off. There are rarely any navigation branches, and even when they are, you’re quickly forced back onto the rails.

10. The hype. Look, L4D is a fun game, but it’s not a $50 purchase. I don’t even think it’s worth the $25 you may have paid if you got in on the weekend special. And it’s wishful thinking to buy a game based on promises of future patches. L4D has been released for almost six months already and they still have yet to actually do any substantive updates. The one update they did do was simply minor tweaks and small exploit fixes. This game clearly needed more time in the kitchen if that’s all they can do in this time period.

Bonus!: Ankle-biters. Whether you’re playing as a survivor or as a special infected, chances are you’ve gotten your ankle caught on a stray cardboard box on the ground. In tense situations it seems like my character is constantly getting stuck on some nonsense environmental prop, which ends up getting me killed. Even though it’s a game about a “horror” scenario, L4D is a fast paced arcade shoot-em-up. Getting stuck on some random thing two inches off the ground should not happen. This is a lesson that most fast paced games learned five years or so ago, when complex level geometry really started showing up – Shame L4D didn’t get the memo.

Mega Man Fan Movie

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Culture, Visual

I don’t think I can embed this player, but check out this link anyway.

http://ningin.com/mediastream/item:show/2008/11/21/megaman-movie-official-trailer/

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Videogame Gourmands

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Culture, Games

I’m really fucking tired of people who play Xbox 360 and PS3 calling themselves “hardcore gamers.” Look at the list of top 10 games on 360 up above. See anything in common? Those are the games that most people play on 360, and with the exception of Braid, they also happen to be the most popular, most heavily marketed, and most consumer-oriented games in the industry. It’d be like someone eating a meal at McDonalds and saying “I’m a foodie!” No, you’re not. If you’re into movies, you don’t go out and see Jurassic Park and call it a day. You try to see movies that try new and interesting things. The types of movies that only someone who has watched thousands of movies could appreciate for doing something unique.

Maddox, as usual, pretty much nails it.

I only tend to buy one or two videogames a year. Who really needs more than that? Of course, through the magic of informed decision making, pretty much every videogame that I buy is worth hundreds of hours of entertainment, and will usually be different from the last game I bought.

The entire console game market is amazingly analogous to fast food. Not only do we have games getting shorter and shorter, delivering 15, 10, 8, 6 hours of gameplay, but each is increasingly seen as less and less of a valuable thing unto itself. If you’ve got a hit game, why bother to patch up the major flaws, as good computer game developers of yore did, when you can just release a sequel? That’s not even digging into the stagnation of gameplay and the devaluation of storytelling when you’re simply trying to impress a bunch of kids.

We Interrupt This Non-Broadcast…

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Culture, Music, Politics, Visual

Many moons ago I posted this video called Flying at Tree Level.

It’s a stunt/trick video showing some of the insane movement tactics in UT2004. The other day while checking my email I got a friendly message from the YouTube Police telling me that this video had been removed for violating copyright.

Now, as it turns out, YouTube hasn’t totally removed the video, they’ve simply muted the audio. Fine, at least they’re not totally annihilating volumes of original work just because they include something that may be copyrighted*.

*Although, the distinction must be made that these works themselves have copyright, what they don’t have is deep pockets and teams of lawyers to aggressively antagonize hundreds of millions of people.

So, anyway I went back and took a look at this so called copyright violation. Apparently the audio on this video was pulled because it contains a whole 40 seconds of the song “I Believe I Can Fly” by Space Jam. What a crock. Bitterly ironic that it gets pulled for containing only the main chorus of a song by a band who only ever made one popular song…

Update: Related Reddit thread.

Impulse Broken

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Uncategorized

Last weekend I actually found myself with some free time, shockingly enough. Simultaneously, I felt pretty bored with the usual gaming fare of FPS and RTS games. I wanted a fix but I didn’t know what of — So I decided to revisit Galactic Civilizations II.

Apparently, GalCivII has had not just one expansion pack, I knew about the first, but two expansion packs. It’s also had a total revamp dubbed “GalCiv 2.0,” although that only is available to those with the game already.

I was sorely tempted to buy the expansions then, but I wanted to see whether GalCivII had improved in the areas I needed it to improve in. Last time I played it I enjoyed it, but it had an unusual fatal flaw — The game was so simplified [over the ultimate 4x gaming experience, Master of Orion II] that I actually had a hard time comprehending what was going on. As it turns out, this wasn’t unusual. GalCiv II, at least at the time, had a barely-comprehensible way of handling an interstellar economy.

To explain as best I can remember: Population in GalCivII produces money based on your tax rate. You can build factories which produce Military and Social “production.” Military production builds your spacefaring fleet, Social production builds your planetary structures. You can also build research labs, which produce Research “production” for researching new technologies.

The inexplicable aspect is that, on a societal level, you assign spending to either Military, Social, or Research production. If you have a tax revenue of 1000 currency, and spend 100% of your revenue towards Military “production,” all of your planets combined will have 1000 currency of “fuel” to burn in their factories to produce ships. The problematic factor comes in when you have many colonies, most of them not dedicated to building ships, but either a balanced mix, or dedicated to Social or Research production — Continuing my example, if you have 2 colonies, one that is an industrial world filled with factories, and another world filled with universities but with a few factories on it (because you need factories to build other structures on the world anyways), your 1000 currency of Military spending will get split between the two worlds even though it is much more efficient for the factory world to get all or almost all of the spending. In short, there was a penalty on (a) expanding, (b) colonizing subpar planets, (c) building “balanced” rather than specialized planetary economies.

But I digress. I know that one of the patches that was promised when I still played GalCivII more regularly was intended to fix some of the backwardness of the economic system, at least to the extent of allowing you to partially determine what level of resources might be allocated on a colony towards particular types of production. I knew the GalCivII game fixed this one area of frustration I would have been sold on the expansion packs.

So I went looking for the latest GalCivII patch. Let me tell you, this was not easy.
I know at one point I had updated GalCivII before, and that was done through the www.galciv2.com website. But all indications from that website now point to this utility called Impulse. I know Stardock probably wants to encourage adoption of their Impulse system, but I don’t particularly care for installing a program that is going to sit as a resident on my computer just so I can install a patch. And I know in the past Stardock was pushing Stardock Central as a place to get patches, but it wasn’t required.

After about an hour I still haven’t found anything about where the patch can be downloaded, so I cave in and install Impulse. Once I had installed Impulse, the real fun begins. I start up Impulse… Could not connect to the server. So I look online. Apparently this is a common problem, and they recommend a restart. I restart my computer, no dice. Impulse still doesn’t work. I go browsing on the support forums. Fast forward to about three hours later and I tried everything and still can’t get this Impulse program to connect to a server, much less get the patch I want. This is a serious problem — If I can’t connect to Impulse, I’m basically SOL when it comes to patches for Stardock games. And because they want people to actually use Impulse, they don’t seem to offer an http solution via impulsedriven.com.

It kind of saddens me, because I have only bought one other game this year. And I think I would like to buy the GalCivII expansion packs, if not merely for my own enjoyment but for the statement that makes about supporting Stardock’s pro-customer policies. But I really can’t justify spending that money if I’m going to be tied to a system that doesn’t work for me.

Eventually I did manage to get the patch, by searching on the internet and finding a GalCivII patch available for download from a FilePlanet-style site. (And, hey, the game did fix my issues — Too bad I can’t use Impulse to purchase the expansions!)

Mirror’s Edge

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Culture, Games

Awhile back I got exposed to Mirror’s Edge, a new game by Dice/EA. There’s been a fair bit of buzz about this game, because … Well, I’m not really sure why. Basically, it’s a first-person platformer, the goal seemingly being to get from point A to point B.

The game looks pretty slick, visually. The design style of the environments is realistic, but austere in a way that a lot of games haven’t been lately. Almost all game designers are pushing a more-is-more angle, but what we’ve seen of the game breaks away from that.

I have mentioned before that Michael Blowhard is one of my favorite culture critics (perhaps culture enthusiast is a better term?), but there’s one thing I’ve never quite seen eye-to-eye with him on. One of Michael’s themes is looking at modern advertising, and examining how so much of our current design sensibilities arise from the tools used to construct those design sensibilities. For example, People with metallic skin, words with incomprehensible (parenthetical or [bracketed]) emphasis are seen as byproducts of the techno-fetishization that goes on in a design world entirely run by computers. One design theme that seems to come up again and again is the idea that the human form is infinitely malleable — Which is not to say that advertisers have a fetish for portraying humans as unformed lumps of clay, but rather that designers go out of their way to display the human form used in physically implausible ways. One of the culprits he names in this is typically video-games, which by their very nature have abstracted the form from the function.

Personally, I disagree with the conclusion that this tabula rasa physicality comes from videogames. It’s certainly invested in videogames, a medium where every woman is capable of being just as fast, strong, smart, and charming as any superhuman male protagonist. But the bigger culprit to me is movies — Movies have latched on to the concept of elastic physicality far more than videogames have, if only because videogames are typically more abstract in their presentation (due to technical limitations). In a videogame you are in control of your character, so when your on-screen avatar who happens to be an attractive 100lb female grabs a 200lb burly security guard and tosses him into a wall, it’s less about the character doing this than about you doing this by mastering the game’s mechanics. On the other hand, once special effects in movies allowed it, we increasingly began to see 100lb females beating up 200lb males, overpowering them, often multiple opponents at a time. Because movies are a medium of presentation and not of interaction, the emphasis really becomes that of showing a woman performing spectacularly outlandish things.

What really struck me about Mirror’s Edge is how it seems to be less about the player interacting with the world and more about the presentation of your avatar (Faith) interacting with the world. This is a trend toward the cinematic over the interactive. Paradoxically, it is probably Mirror’s Edge’s greatest strength to think that in moving towards a cinematic valuation of presentation it also enhances interactivity (at least on some level) by providing a more immersive sensory experience than other first-person-games.

My big problem with Mirror’s Edge is that I find it totally implausible. It is implausible not only in the way the main character is presented interacting with the environment, but the entire premise of this near-future world which follows-our-rules-but-doesn’t. Even if we can accept the implausibility of our 100lb protagonist running around, jumping 30 foot gaps, sliding down 100 feet on steel cables, dodging bullets, and shrugging everything off with a roll, what is our rationale for accepting that our supermodel protagonist would even bother risking life and limb to deliver letters? Accepting these things is accepting the premises so frequently promoted through other media that the human form is something infinitely malleable– that being a 100lb waif-thin female doesn’t stop one from being a top-notch athlete who can do superhuman stunts that would cause most people to break a wrist, ankle, or worse; that being a supermodel-class female beauty doesn’t carry social cachet and expectations that would make this sort of life-risking behavior unnecessary and pointless.

I want to point this out, because I know this game has been praised and praised for its supposedly progressive visual design, but Faith is just another supermodel in a long line of supermodel protagonists. There is nothing new or refreshing or progressive in her visual design for anyone who has anything more than a politicized interest in videogames. A tank top and pants are nothing to go nuts over. Aside from her clothing, how is Faith any different from Paris Hilton?

Even though I am inclined to believe that movies, more than videogames, are pushing an ideology of physical mutability, I think it’s inevitable that games such as Mirror’s Edge are beginning to adopt this subtext wholesale as the entire medium moves towards emulating the cinema. It really isn’t unexpected, given that very few videogames (none which I know of) actually treat the physical representation of a character as inextricable from that character’s capabilities in the game world. That seems like a shame, since to the extent that videogames survive as non-mainstream media expressions, they …

… are pure products of the the engineer and nerd culture that is completely different from, say, the culture born of marketing, social sciences and various “critical studies” that currently dominates Hollywood and print media. (Link)

Alarmist? Perhaps. But I also think that Mirror’s Edge will just not be a very good game, and that this is not entirely unseparate from the tropes it adopts and the forces that it panders to.

Epic Betrayals

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Games, Technology

As you might be aware at this point, Epic Games has released the newest iteration in their Halo-sequel game series, Gears of War. For me, Gears of War isn’t really interesting except insofar as it is a distillation of negative trends in the game industry: Poor storytelling, cinematic experience bereft of the benefits of an interactive medium, hypermasculinization and deintellectualization, and so on.

There’s also the angle in which we can look at Gears of War as a prime example of a PC-focused developer turning into a console-focused developer, and the implications of the two platforms. I am not one for the “console wars,” but I think that PC-gaming and console-gaming serve different markets, in much the same way that movies released to theaters serve a much different market than direct-to-home-video movies do.

For PC developers, the giant bugaboo-slash-boogeyman is “Piracy.” For console developers, piracy is significantly less of a problem, for both demographic and technical reasons. But console developers have their own boogeyman, and it is “Used game sales.” Here’s what Mike Capps, President of Epic Games, has to say:

“The secondary market is a huge issue in the United States. Our primary retailer makes the majority of its money off of secondary sales, and so you’re starting to see games taking proactive steps toward that by… if you buy the retail version you get the unlock code [for DownLoad-able Content, aka DLC],” he said.

While I think GameStop’s practices of buying used games for pennies on the dollar and reselling them at 1000% markup of what they paid are nigh-criminal, it is seriously wrongheaded to attack the used game market as a destructive force in gaming. My own general price guideline for a game is $50, which means that the vast majority of new console releases are outside of my price guideline. I may be willing to spend up to $50 on a game, but console games regularly retail for $60 and up. These prices can be even more punishing if you’re in a foreign country. My more regular price-point for games I am unsure about whether I will like is $30, and even for games that are a few years old it is unusual to find games at this price point.

The natural answer, I think, is to understand that gamers are not fountains of endless cash and that new games need to be competitive with the used game market (if that is what they are competing with) in order to remain a successful venture. Most people, myself included, would choose a new game over a used game if the differential was, say, $5.00. But once you move into the $10 and $20 differences in price…

So what does Capps think might be potential “final solutions” to the “used game problem”?

“I’ve talked to some developers who are saying ‘If you want to fight the final boss you go online and pay USD 20, but if you bought the retail version you got it for free’. We don’t make any money when someone rents it, and we don’t make any money when someone buys it used – way more than twice as many people played Gears than bought it.”

The animus behind this idea here is so… incredibly hateful towards fans who do anything other than pay full price, I literally don’t know what to say. I think it would be right and just for any company that contemplates creating a product that intentionally breaks if resold to be sued out of existence. This is nothing more than attempting to use technological means to make it impossible for someone to exercise their right to resell an item they own. If game developers think that existing copyright law is such a burden that sabotaging their products to eliminate the rights of their customers is valid, then perhaps it is also right for customers to simply ignore the copyrights of the developers themselves.

Flagellant

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Culture, Technology

I wrote a post yesterday about Shamus’ post revealing the scary-as-hell Electronic Arts / Big Brother plot to “integrate” all of your purchases from EA with your online accounts and make it so that any infraction (real or perceived) can cost you all of your games. (I have no doubt, by the way, that this is all part of a plot to try and convince courts that they aren’t selling a “game” they’re selling a “service” and that thus, their EULAs could actually be something more than trash not worth the bytes they’re printed on.)

I just saw this comment by Factoid though and wanted to respond to it:

My tinfoil hat alarm just went off. I’m now pretty much convinced that EA is deliberately killing off the PC platform. They hate the pirates so much, that they’re waging a war of attrition against them. Except it’s not normal attrition, where you try to grind the OTHER guy down until there’s nothing left….they’re grinding THEMSELVES down, and making the pirates look on in horror, A Clockwork Orange style.

This image reminds me of the scene in Fight Club where Edward Norton begins fighting himself inside of his boss’ office. And while his boss looks on in horror about the deranged man who is mutilating himself, he can’t speak out about it because if he does he’ll be pinned with the assault. It’s exactly the same, except Electronic Arts is both sending the boss to jail and accepting tons of bribe money.

Semi-related: Today I saw this article in which a Harvard lawyer points out the pitfalls in letting the [supposed] plaintiff decide who to prosecute, accept bribes for prosecuting or not prosecuting, and charge hundreds of thousands of times the value of the perceived infraction.

=)

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Games, Technology

So I just saw this post over at Shamus’ site… I don’t know what the heck to say except that I see this as the death knell of gaming.

What am I talking about? Well, here’s a little tidbit of information from an EA representative:

Your forum account will be directly tied to your Master EA Account, so if we ban you on the forums, you would be banned from the game as well since the login process is the same. And you’d actually be banned from your other EA games as well since its all tied to your account. So if you have SPORE and Red Alert 3 and you get yourself banned on our forums or in-game, well, your SPORE account would be banned to. It’s all one in the same, so I strongly reccommend people play nice and act mature…

Those banned will stay banned, but like most other internet services, its not that hard to create a new fake e-mail account. However, its a lot harder to get a new serial key =)

As Shamus says, “That smiley is the grin of someone that knows they have hundreds of dollars of your software they’re holding hostage.” Indeed. That’s a great smiley face for them, and a huge 500-pt bolded and italicized angry face for everyone else.

Just as a simple example of how this policy could very easily “go wrong” (not that there’s anything much “right” about it in the first place): When Unreal Tournament 3 was released, the game’s forums were literally flooded with complaints about the game’s [horrible] user interface. At some point, the forum’s moderators decided that complaints about the user interface were flooding the forums and disrupting the ability of other conversations, such as bugs and gameplay concerns, to exist. So what ended up happening was that all posts about the User Interface ended up getting removed. This confused or upset some people, so they posted again. Guess what happened then? They got banned.

With all of the controversy over Spore’s DRM, I’d be surprised if this hasn’t happened already. I know I personally would have loved to buy Spore, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to put up with the DRM they crippled the thing with. When I buy a game, I want to own the game, not cross my fingers and hope EA lets me play it. I know for a fact there are people who’ve bought this game, clicked through all the EULA agreements, and didn’t even know about the DRM of this game. So what happens if they go on EA’s forums and make a little post where they may be upset about the DRM — And let’s say, for the sake of argument, that EA’s moderators behave like Epic’s did and start removing complaints about a dead-horse issue (the user interface, or the digital rights management) and banning people who ignore that policy.

Well, getting banned from forums is nothing to scoff at if you’re the kind of person who likes to offer constructive criticism of a product you’ve paid for. But getting banned from forums is quite a different order of magnitude from getting banned from the games you’ve paid for. Totally unbelievable, and no doubt we are going to see every software company move towards this totalitarian integration and EULA in a few years. I’m really thinking about picking up another copy of GalCiv II right about now.