Cate Blanchett

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I heard from a friend of a friend of a friend that there was some kind of big gathering or party recently, something relating to moving pictures if I recall correctly. There’s some completely hilarious commentary on the tragedies and travesties of this event over at GoFugYourself. I’ve been sitting on this post for awhile… How long is awhile? Well, since around, oh, this comic. Anyway, after being reminded by the screencaps of how attractive Cate Blanchett was in the Lord of the Rings movies I went to go look up some pictures of her…

She stood before Frodo seeming now tall beyond measurement and beautiful beyond enduring, terrible and worshipful. Then she let her hand fall, and the light faded, and suddenly she laughed again, and lo! she was shrunken: a slender elf-woman clad in simple white, whose gentle voice was soft and sad. ‘I pass the test,’ she said, ‘I will diminish, and go into the West, and remain Galadriel.’
– J.R.R. Tolkien



She is so beautiful and elegant here… Perhaps it’s the movie magic, but in virtually every other picture I’ve seen of Cate she doesn’t look nearly as much so. Some examples of Cate elsewhere:



Now, let it be said that first and foremost Cate could stand to eat a few sandwiches. But her nigh-anorexic appearances aside, I don’t think either of these styles do much to flatter her. In the first of these she looks nice and attractive, but she’s nowhere near as beautiful as she is as Galadriel. The second of these is just plain scary, the squared off shoulders, the 70’s couch fabric jacket, too much exposure of her too-thin self and the mod-chic hairstyling pulled back in a way that accentuates her mouth in all the wrong ways…

Here are some slightly more flattering pictures with similar themes:



I don’t want to overload this post with too many images, but any Google image search on her can easily pull up a ton of pictures similar to the ones above. I found it kind of frustrating since a Google search on most celebrities will pull up plenty of really nice and stylish photographs, whether it be from photo shoots or awards shows or whatever, but almost all of Cate’s images are what I consider to be subpar. What’s wrong with this girl? Why can’t she choose styles that flatter her natural beauty instead of working against it?

Here are some relatively informal pictures of Cate taken and press Q&A events




In all three of these pictures I think she looks far better than she does in the red-carpet or photoshoot situations shown above. It’s really puzzling to me that she seems to so consistently hit on these unflattering androgynous-modern styles with power suits and pulled back hair. I’m not a huge fan of the short hair since I consider that itself to be a pretty big concession towards modernity, but it can work if she goes for more classical styles:



Anyway, I guess the point I’m getting to is that she needs to fire her husband, because he’s clearly not providing enough constructive feedback on her outings, and hire me, or at least recommend me to a sister she may have stashed away somewhere.

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